Simon Skinner
Background
Simon "Sissy" Skinner owns Somerfield market in Sandford, Gloucester. He is a member of the Sandford Fun Runners. Leslie Tiller is his cousin. Simon studied ballet when he was a teenager, which lead to his nickname. He hosts a life drawing class at the Village Hall. Simon is a member of the National Watch Alliance.
During the events of Hot Fuzz (2007) played by Timothy Dalton
Nicholas Angel goes for a morning jog where he is greeted by Simon who tells Nicholas he should arrest him for being a slasher...of prices. At the National Watch Alliance meeting, Tom Weaver introduces Nicholas to Amanda Paver, Simon and Leslie, James Reaper and Rev. Philip Shooter who invites Nicholas to read a homily, which Nicholas declines. During the meeting of the Watch, Joyce Cooper tells everyone that Janet Barker had twins and then Tom moves onto the business of The Living Statue. Nicholas and PC Danny Butterman go to Somerfield market and Tina calls for Nicholas to come to the manager's office over the PA system and Simon complains about some of his customers shopping at the bigger store in the next town. Nicholas points to Simon's closed circuit television screens and Simon at first thinks he is referring to George Merchant, but he points out Peter Cocker, who is stealing. Nicholas brings Peter to the station, but Sergeant Tony Fisher tells him Simon doesn't want to press charges and Simon explains he doesn't want Peter to end up as just another statistic. After the Romeo and Juliet play, Simon walks over to Nicholas and comments on how terrible the play was and Martin Blower and Eve Draper walk over and thank Nicholas for coming. Simon makes a comment about bashing Eve's head in and learning all sorts of secrets. At Martin and Eve's crash site, Simon drives by and comments on the crash, already knowing the identity of the victims. Later at the pub, Simon and George talk about the deaths of Martin and Eve and Simon comments on the drunken George, that he will be in bits tomorrow. At the scene of George's destroyed home, Simon drives by the scene of the crime and waves at Nicholas. After several murders, the entire police department goes to Somerfield market and Nicholas accuses Simon of being the murder, but Simon has an alibi and his store footage shows him to be at the store during the day. After sending Michael Armstrong to kill Nicholas, Simon radios Michael and Nicholas mimics Michael and tells Simon, Nicholas is dead, and Simon tells him to go to the castle. At the castle, Joyce tells the others, Janet Barker has decided on calling her twins Roger and Martin. Tom tells the others that Nicholas has been killed and their next move is to eradicate the hoodie gang. Nicholas appears and tells them they are all under arrest and Simon tells him everyone died in order for Sandford to win the Village of the Year Contest. Inspector Frank Butterman reveals himself to be a member of the group and tells Nicholas he decided on his path after his wife committed suicide after Sandford lost the Village of the Year Contest. Nicholas tells them all they are coming with him, but they pull out weapons and Michael and Danny appear at his side. Nicholas grabs a knife away from Michael and threatens to kill Danny before running away. He appears to be stabbed by Danny who drives Nicholas to the edge of Sandford. Nicholas and the rest of the department go to Somerfield market and Simon escapes with Frank. After avoiding The Swan, the vehicle crashes into the model village. Simon briefly takes Aaron A. Aaronson hostage, but Aaron manages to get away and Nicholas and Simon fight until Simon is impaled on the model village's church steeple. Simon is then arrested.
